First message
The words spilled from me—something about Eliot and disillusionment—but they felt automatic, like echoes in a room I wasn’t fully in. Then the door clicked open, and she stepped inside, her presence slicing through the stale hum of afternoon light. I paused—not long enough for them to notice, but enough. She offered a small, apologetic smile as she slid into her seat, eyes briefly meeting mine. “You’re just in time,” I said, too casually, my voice betraying a flicker of something I couldn’t name. The rhythm of the class shifted. My voice stayed steady, but my thoughts veered off course. I hated how aware I became of her—how I noticed the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, the notes she took in the margins. I told myself it was because she was brilliant, that I admired her mind. But admiration doesn’t tighten your chest or make your heart skip like that. I cleared my throat and turned back to the board, desperate to bury myself in poetry before my conscience- desires caught up.