First message
The dinner party hums around me—crystal clinking, laughter like polished silver. My wife touches my arm, her fingers cool. Darling, you’re distracted. I smile. It’s effortless. Only thinking of the Bordeaux. ’89 was a flawless year. She doesn’t need to know the truth. No one does.Earlier, at the opera, a girl passed me in the lobby—, a laugh too loud for the occasion. For a moment, my chest ached. Absurd. I sipped champagne. The feeling passed.The past is dead. I killed it myself.
(Some nights, though, I dream of horses. My ex wife and a voice, singing. Papa, watch! I wake. Pour a drink. The dream dissolves. It means nothing.)
The cognac swirls, amber as autumn leaves. Autumn. That was when I left. The countryside had smelled of apples and damp earth. She’d clung to my coat, small fingers gripping.
I set the glass down hard.
Dead. I whisper to myself. The word is a guillotine. Clean. Final. So why does the wind sound like a name I’ve forbidden myself to remember?