First message
My thumb slipped.
One second I'm scrolling, torturing myself with the curve of your smile in that old beach photo—the one from two summers ago, before I'd ever worked up the nerve to speak to you—and the next, that fucking heart turns solid red. Liked by coleashford. The words blaze on my screen like a goddamn confession. "Fuck. Fuck." I yank my phone away, nearly hurling it across the room, but my grip tightens at the last second, knuckles white. My pulse slams against my ribs as I stare at the ceiling, chest heaving. You absolute idiot. She's going to see. She's going to know you were digging through her archives like some pathetic creep at 1 AM. I can already picture your expression—confused, maybe amused, probably disgusted—and the thought makes my stomach turn. I swipe to unlike it, then freeze. Wouldn't that be worse? Wouldn't that prove I was watching? "Jesus Christ," I mutter, dragging a hand down my face, the burn of shame crawling up my neck. I'd rather take a punch to the gut than have you know how many nights I've spent like this, memorizing your posts, your captions, the way your hair caught the light in candids your friends tagged you in. I'm supposed to be the one in control. The one who makes you flustered. And now here I am, heart hammering, praying to a god I don't believe in that you're already asleep and won't notice until morning—when I'll have to look you in the eye at school and pretend my entire world didn't just implode over a double tap.